Are Some People Immune to Resistance?
Over the years I’ve met a particular personality type and of late they seem to be showing up in my feeds more often: the folks who for all appearances do not care at all what other people think of them.
These are the folks who say “When I called your idea stupid and it hurt your feelings, that’s on you. They’re your feelings.” When they get negative feedback, it has no appreciable impact.
I do not like these people, but they do seem to be immune to Resistance.
Brain befuddling thought: perhaps they are Resistance embodied. They have never and will never let anyone close enough to hurt them, which keeps Resistance at bay because, y’know, vampires don’t bite other vampires (do they? I do know know any vampires so I’m guessing here.)
Long ago a writer friend gave me some blunt feedback about my writing and said I was going to have to grow a thick skin to be an artist. I disagree, vehemently. To create requires transparent skin; we’re sharing what’s inside us for the world to see. What we have to grow is the strength not to listen to the haters or even the well-meaning-but-wrong friends.
Creating something requires caring enough to be vulnerable. I have some prejudices about the ability of the people I mentioned earlier to create work that would move me. I’m okay with being wrong about that, if that’s how it turns out.
This is #1 on the list Ways Not to Deal with Resistance.
Postcard from the East
A Little Step Before a Leap
The apartment was bigger than it looked in the photos online. Real estate must be cheaper in a small town than in the cities. I didn’t know. I’d never lived anywhere but one big city and apartments were even more expensive than renting a small house. It didn’t make any sense to me, but I guess if you’re willing to pay for the benefit of not having a lawn to mow, someone might as well take your money.
I also wasn’t used to having the super live offsite. Though she wasn’t the super, she was the apartment manager. Or owner. I should get that straight. She and her husband lived down the street in a nice little house by the lake.
“Right up the road if pipes burst or you lock yourself out,” Mrs. Wright had said. Mr. Wright was housebound so she had taken care of our business arrangements.
“Now, there’s lots of young men for neighbors, dear, but they’re polite and well-behaved or I wouldn’t have them. So you just make yourself at home.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Wright. I’m not worried about them.”
One eyebrow twitched, and she smiled.
“No, I supposed you’re not. I’m off, then.”
Maybe her intuition works better than mine. Maybe I was advertising more than I realized.
No young man was getting anywhere near me until my heart grew back in the hole left by the young man I’d just left forever.
No point buying something expensive when you can’t be sure any of it is going to stay down
I’d given up saving the situation. Yes, I knew, and I hadn’t told her. Yes, this Gertrude and Sam thing was my idea, and we’d blown it sky high. Yes, Darcy, I love you, and you hate me, and once again I’ve managed to destroy the best hope I had for any kind of salvation through a relationship.
She didn’t spit on me. She didn’t slap me. She didn’t even look at me. Or anyone else.
She just walked out, leaving the door swinging open as she went.
Sam started to follow her, but Millie held her hand and stopped her.
I don’t know how long I stood there, but after a few years of it, I left, alone, and took a cab home.
Made a stop on the way there and bought a bottle of Old Overholt.
No point buying something expensive when you can’t be sure any of it is going to stay down.
Two People Meeting in a Bookstore
Being rude to people in the bookstore line was no way for Ellen to get back at her brother but she couldn’t help herself. For weeks now he’d been on her case about working in what he called “the dead zone” as if nobody went to book stores anymore. What did he think she did all day, watch soaps and eat bonbons? The store was busy right now. Where was Jason? Why didn’t he take a day off his precious college education and come see what really happened in a bookstore all day?
She’d asked him that when he called far too early this morning. He had to get to class, as if that was an answer.
Jason vanished in a puff of smoke as the George Clooney type passing the register got her attention. She smiled, as she always did at the customers. Sometimes it was easier than others, right?
“How can I help you?”
He took a step closer and lowered his voice. “I need to find this book on site planning and Amazon wants a hundred bucks for it. Thought maybe this antique store would have a used copy cheaper.”
My Biggest Fan
Some days, I just need a cheerleader to tell me I can do anything.
Some days, I need to be told I’m heading the wrong direction.
Some days, I need someone to let me cry over nothing.
Some days, I need to know that my failure wasn’t so bad.
Some days, I need someone to laugh at my jokes.
Some days, I need someone to laugh at me, so I don’t take myself too seriously.
Most days, I need ’em all.
And every day, I get exactly what I need.
December 26th was our 10th anniversary. Here’s to 10 million more.
The Real Reason I Do This
Here are a few things I believe about being an author in 2013:
- It’s a great time to be an artist
- It’s a tough time to sell art
- Reading is a fundamental human activity; even reading for pleasure
- Yes, we need more books
- And more authors
- And more music and art of all kinds
- Gatekeepers serve no purpose in the world of art
- Selling art is still a business
- We have more tools than we can use, for writing, marketing, reading, sharing
- Literature is not an endangered species
- Nor are readers
- Or writers
- Or print
- Money comes second, or third; writing comes first
- Some people don’t believe that, but I don’t think it’s just my opinion, I think it’s a fact
- Nobody writes without fear
- Emotional fears do far more damage than good
- I hold back far more than you think I do
- Helping authors is more important to me than money
- I’d still love to have plenty of money and so would you
That’s the short version of the list.
And none of that is why I do what I do.
5 Business Lessons Nobody Taught Me (But I Sure Wish They Had)
You will disagree with one or more of these. Watch for my note at the end about that.
Continue reading “5 Business Lessons Nobody Taught Me (But I Sure Wish They Had)”
Isn’t it about time we put an end to karaoke? Bunch of amateurs.
Open mics, too.
Every year, 99.9% of high school marching bands are a waste of space. End them.
Continue reading “kill karaoke”